I have two kids now. And one of them is a two year old. There are a couple of implications from these facts.

#1. I am getting less sleep (not an important point for this post but one that is on my mind nonetheless :))
#2. My two year old is testing me much more in this new season
#3. God is teaching me SO many things about His relationship with me

Here’s an example.

I love Kate dearly. And many times I admire and love her fierce independence. But her need for control over EVERY situation utterly exhausts me. I cannot handle being told where to sit, how to hold a book and what the name of that animal is even though it is clearly a tiger and not a lion.

And although it is irritating for myself, I mostly feel sad for her. While she was concerned with how mommy held the book, she missed out on the chance to be caught up in the story. And while she planned ahead whether mommy or daddy put her into her car seat, she killed the anticipation and excitement of a trip to the park.  And when she refused that hug, she missed out on a moment of love from her daddy.

One day I was venting to God. I was tired of having to address this issue over and over and over again with Kate. “God, why can’t she just relax? Why can’t she enjoy the moment? Why can’t she just be content? Why can’t she let us love her like we want to? Why can’t she lighten up?”

And he gently replied, like He always does…

“Why can’t you?”

Oh the parallels of parenting. It was a much-needed conviction.

I need to relax and let go. I need to lighten up and have fun. I need to let Him love me like He wants to.

Thanks for the reminder, Jesus.